Worst Neuropathy Pain Ever? (updated)

I have wondered how it would feel if I got a really bad neuropathy pain attack while wearing a cast? Luckily, even though I did experience a few attacks while wearing a cast, none were too bad.

Well, one of the worst attacks just started about twenty minutes ago. Unfortunately, the location is in my right foot, near the top of my inner sole. The pain level is probably nine on that pain scale. It is at the “involuntary screaming” level, and I have experienced that a few times before. However, in the past, my entire lower leg was not swollen and sore from physical therapy. I tried using a percussive massage on the location and of course, I can barely feel the massager. Even worse, the pain attacks are coming in fast, sometimes every ten seconds. I already took an oxycodone pill, and it is not helping at all. Other than lying down and screaming several times a minute, I do not know what else to do.

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So, it has been almost three hours and I have not been able to sleep. The oxycodone pill did nothing for the pain; I think it has gotten worse. Additionally, another two locations on my right foot are starting to experience pain.

What is worse than super painful neuropathy? Super painful neuropathy in three locations.

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I have tried to massage the pain spot so much that I have broken the skin, and I am now bleeding. The wound is pretty small, but I still had to put a bandage on it. The pain intensity has not decreased in the past four hours.

Fuck.

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In the past, sometimes I would shake 0r swing my lower leg vigorously, and that would alleviate some of the pain. I think it gets more blood into my lower leg and foot, though I am unsure why that helps. Today, when I tried to do the same thing, my lower leg and ankle would swell up due to my ankle injury. My entire foot is numb now from the constant nerve pain. I am still unable to sleep or even feel tired. I also do not know how long I have to wait before taking more painkillers. In addition to the worst neuropathy pain ever, I may get addicted to opiates too.

Fuck. Fuck.

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My right calf is so swollen and sore right now.

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Updated: Saturday, April 20th, 2024

I ended up falling asleep around 3:00 am Tuesday and woke up at 6:00 am. The pain was still there but more muted. Throughout the week, I would get occasional flare ups at the same spot, which has not happened. This evening, six days later, the pain came back in the same spot, though around a six or seven on the pain scale. I had finished taking all the Norco I was prescribed for my ankle operation, so I tried taking 5 mg of Oxycodone. Even though it is supposed to be stronger than Norco, I really do not feel any difference in pain afterwards. Maybe I need to take Tylenol at the same time? It has been two hours since I took the pill, and again, I cannot sleep. At least the pain is not as bad as Monday’s attack.

Ankle Update 20240415

Happy Tax Day! Today is also my first day back to work after taking a twelve-week medical leave for my broken ankle.

After two weeks of physical therapy, my ankle is still very swollen. My physical therapist has been adding weight and new exercises each time I go into the clinic/gym. I can walk short distances normally. but the ankle swells quickly and becomes quite sore. I am still not wearing the walking boot, but I am carrying my crutches in my car.

I have an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon on April 22. That will be after three weeks of physical therapy so hopefully everything is on track.

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I bought a lot of travel compression socks while I was on dialysis and I am wearing them again, if only just on my right foot. I feel it does help keep the swelling down, and give some support when I walk around slowly.

Too Much Coriander

I like coriander (cilantro) in my dishes. However, Pizza Hut Japan introduced recently introduced a limited time “Too Much Coriander” pizza. I think it is too much since the taste of cilantro is overpowering and you will not taste anything else if you put that much on a pizza.

I still would like to try if it is available the next time I visit Japan.

My sister-in-law has the gene that makes cilantro taste like dish soap. She said this is what hell looks like.

Supplemental Short-Term Disability

I may have mentioned this before, since I have been on disability and medical leave so many times. Our company provides some supplemental benefits via The Hartford insurance company. My understanding is that the benefit is two-thirds of weekly salary, up to a $1,600 maximum. The maximum is also affected by what I receive from the State of California for short-term disability. Previously, California provided up to $1,357 per week so I received several hundred dollars per week. However, the state cap is now $1,620 per week so even though I filed a claim with The Harford, I pretty much ignored the process after finding out the maximum benefit was less than what the state offered.

Today, I received a call from The Hartford asking to confirm my disability end date. I provided it but asked why it mattered. The customer service representative (CRS) said I should have received some checks. While she was still on the phone, I checked all the unopened mail and found about $450 in checks. Strange. I looked at the statement closely and discovered that there is a minimum benefit of $50 per week. Even though I was paid more than the maximum benefit, the minimum benefit must still apply. It is not a lot of money, but it is better than $0.

$20 Minimum Wage

I started this blog to vent about living with dialysis and heart failure, but it has become my regular blog. My previous blog had a lot of posts about politics, especially about how shitty the Chinese Communist Party is. Politics is stressful. In California, there is no choice for independent voters since everything is run by Democrats. That in itself is not bad, but with our hyper partisan political environment, any place with a supermajority, either party, is going to see terrible and unaccountable politicans and policies.

I spent almost my entire career in finance, and doing cost versus benefit analysis is second nature. Every business needs to generate enough revenue to cover costs and hopefully generate some profit. I remember the first thing we were asked in business school, “Why is this company in business?” You can talk about all sorts of secondary goals, but the primary reason a for-profit company is formed is to make money. Given that, are there tasks in the company that does not contribute $20/hour to the bottom line? Maybe.

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I just saw a new story from NBCLA that mentioned the author of the $20/hour law was in fact SEIU (Service Worker International Union). They seem to have the support of the entire Democratic Party in California to sponsor shitty laws. These are the same assholes that tried to blackmail the dialysis industry three times with bogus voter initiatives. I was on dialysis during that time and all the nurses and technicians said to vote no on the initiatives. All three initiatives failed.

The law has only been in effect for a week, but the train wreck is coming. Unfortunately for those of us living in California and vote independently, we are unwilling passengers on this train.

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The last part of the story mentioned that no politician is taking responsibility for the law, even the ones that sponsored the bill. Are we letting unions write laws? The story also said that the SEIU had every politician involved sign a NDA. How is this legit? Are there not transparency laws in California? I guess we will see during the next election which Democrats the SEIU paid off and are responsible for tanking the California economy.

Part-time Job Scam

I got this text message today. It is obviously a scam since there are no other merchants on Target’s website. Other red flags? Using WhatsApp as a communications platform, and the bullshit about reviewing my background/resume. I am not sure what the scammers are after. Your personal info? Maybe a fake check scam where they send you a fake check and ask you to buy office equipment? So lame.

Medtronics InPen Scam

This is such bullshit. My endocrinologist recommended the InPen to me and I got one last year. The pen connects via Bluetooth to your phone, and there is an app that calculates how much insulin you need depending on your glucose reading. Medtronic’s website claims that the InPen is a “smart” insulin pen, but the intelligence is in the app. The app tracks injections and calculates dosages; all the pen does is communicate how much is actually injected. Since you can manually enter shots, there is really no need for the pen itself.

What is the scam? The pen’s battery only lasts one year, and the battery is non-rechargeable and cannot be replaced. WTF? It is a nice pen, made of what looks like anodized aluminum. The condition of my pen is pristine so why do I need to throw it away? I checked online and the retail price is $400-$500. Since I have insurance, I paid a small copay. I may get another one while I have insurance, but I can always use my old manual insulin pens and just log doses manually.

Ankle Update 20240404

I started physical therapy this past Monday, which is April Fool’s Day. The clinic signed me up for three sessions per week for eight weeks. I hope it does not last that long.

During yesterday’s session (#2), the therapist told me to not wear the walking boot next time, and to put more weight on my right ankle. Each session so far has consisted of a calf massage, a foot/ankle massage, and several exercises, usually three sets of ten repetitions on each leg. After each session, my right lower leg and ankle would swell a lot. I think that is normal since physical therapy works the non-fused bones and muscles. Both my legs and my right ankle are quite sore. Due to neuropathy however, I do not know if I am putting too much weight, or if the exercises are too intense.

DMV HOV Decal

It has been six weeks since I sent in a paper application for HOV lane decals for my new Tesla. I checked the DMV website and it said they switched to an online system and are no longer taking paper applications. If you sent in a paper application and your check has not been cleared, then you should reapply online. So, my check has not cleared, so I started the online application process. After entering a bunch of data, I get this message:

The text says:

A decal has already been issued for the vehicle you provided. You will only be able to select the following options to complete your form online: Transfer to new owner, replacement ID card, replacement decals

I am unsure what that means. I assume DMV has received my paper application and it has been entered in their system? If so, why have they not cashed my check? Why did it take so long to add HOV decal application online?

I guess I wait…

The Worst Neuropathy Pain Ever

I had the worst neuropathy pain I ever felt during the last hour. My physical therapist told me to not use the walking boot anymore, and just wear regular shoes on my right foot. After the session, my ankle was pretty swollen, but it felt okay. However, when I tried to go to sleep earlier, about four to five attack pointes appeared on each foot. For almost an hour, I was in constant neuropathy pain; it was about level seven or eight on the pain scale. I was about to get out the oxycodone I received for surgery pain.

Since then, the pain has subsided. Both my feet are still sore and numb, and there are still attacks but more spread out. I also skipped dinner so I will probably eat a snack, and reconsider if I need to take the narcotic painkiller still.

Tomahawk Tuesday

Last year, I lent some money to my friend’s company. He returned the principle but wanted to give me around $800 of interest. I told him just to buy me some meals. He paid for a couple of lunches last week, but we decided to check out Tomahawk Tuesday at Fleming’s Steakhouse. Basically, you choose between bone-in steak or have them slice it for you. Additionally, you get two salads, two sides, and two desserts. The total cost for the meal is $150.

So, we went to the Fleming’s at Fashion Island in Newport Beach last night, and got the sliced porterhouse. It was expensive but everything was really good. At my insistence, we got the steak medium. The ribeye was great, but I think the filet was a bit overcooked. I probably should have gone with medium rare, but I really do not like chewy steak. The salads and the sides were really good, and dessert was great.

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Ukraine Call 20240327

I just got off a video call with my friend/student in Kyiv. He said that there was a missile raid over the weekend. He had to go to a bomb shelter at his son’s school and hide out all night. What a fucking shitshow.

He said they sometimes get a thirty-minute warning that missiles are on the way, but recently Russia started using Onyx missiles that fly at 3,000 km/hour and are launched from Crimea. That means they only have a few minutes of warning. My friend said sometimes the missiles arrive at the same time the warning sirens start.

It is kind of difficult to have a normal discussion with my friend when you know he and his entire apartment building can be wiped out by one missile. For this call, we ended up taking turns sharing our screens and showing areas of our city using Google Street View. He showed me places where he is planning a bike ride, and since we ended up talking about World Cup 2026, I showed him aerial views of large stadiums in Los Angeles.

2023 Tesla Model X – Three Months

Screenshot

It has been three months since I picked up my Model X. I ended up driving to urgent care right afterwards for my ankle, so I have not driven it that much, probably less than 200 miles total. I do have some comments about the car, however.

• Not having a turn signal stalk is stupid. Since the turn activation buttons move with the steering wheel, it is not in the same location all the time.
• Likewise, not having a gear selector stalk in stupid. I like the steering column from my old Model S much better. Additionally, if I have to use the screen slider to select gears, I want the direction reversed: slide down for drive and up for reverse. This matches how I scroll the mouse on my computers. Like the turn signal controls, I have to pause and think about the motion each time.
• Removing the creep feature is also stupid. Electric cars have a lot of torque. Sometimes, especially when parking, you want the car to move slightly without the risk of pressing the pedal too much and crashing into your garage or other cars. Why make the car harder to drive? Why not leave it as an option?
• The falcon-wing doors are stupid. They will not open in home garages since there is not enough height clearance. I also have a garage opener and the hardware further reduces the effective ceiling height. It just means rear passengers need to enter/exit the car outside the garage. I also cannot put items in the back seat while in the garage since the fucking doors will not open.
• Full self-drive (FSD) is not stupid but just not ready. I used it several times during the three-month demo period. When it works, FSD is amazing. However, it did make annoying moves, like constant lane changes in local traffic, and it was outright dangerous several times.

There are lots of good things about the car. It is very comfortable and has a lot of power. It is a big car so it is very roomy. Most of the electronic systems work well, and is a definite upgrade from my old Tesla. However, these are incremental improvements, whereas the list above are deliberate changes and steps backwards in driveability in my opinion. I still like the car, but there is a lot of unnecessary frustration when driving.

Weight Update 20240326

I was finally able to update the weight goal in Omada, so I am setting a new goal of 200 lbs. I have been home for about six weeks and have been able to maintain my weight despite doing zero exercise. I am glad I was able to lose thirty lbs. over the past 9 months; life with crutches would be much harder with the extra weight.

I have not used any other features in the Omada app. I will try to start tracking food and drinks to see if it is beneficial.

Ankle Update 20240325

I went to see my orthopedic surgeon today. Even though I got a CT scan last week, he took more x-rays today. The good news is that I did not damage my ankle by falling off my knee scooter last week. From the CT scan, he said I am about 60% to 70% healed. That is good enough to schedule physical therapy next week, and I can start putting weight on my ankle, but only up to 50% of my weight. Not sure how I am supposed to know that.

I asked my church friend, the other foot/ankle surgeon in the same practice, for recommendations and he suggested this place:

I will need to go two to three times a week for six to eight weeks. This is going to suck.

Ankle Update 20240324

I feel like such an idiot. I get that feeling a lot now that I am old, but this was really stupid. I sometimes get sweaty under the cast, and it is a terrible feeling. With the boot, I am able to take it off for showers and sleep. Last Tuesday, after returning from an eye doctor’s appointment, I took off the boot to cool off my leg. I then managed to fall off my knee scooter and banged up my right leg. My knee scooter is cheap and comes with hard plastic tires. On that day, I ran over a small rug and the scooter came to an abrupt stop. My body kept moving so I slid off the scooter “seat” and onto the hardwood floor. I managed to skin my knee again, but also banged my toes hard.

Re-injuring my knee really sucked since I kneel all the time on scooters, walkers, and also climb stairs. Worse, I think I did some damage to the ankle because it seems more swollen than before. I wrote a message to my orthopedic surgeon asking for advice. Since I managed to schedule a CT scan of my ankle the same day, I am going into his office tomorrow. The CT scan was ordered before my fall so he can see clearly how well my ankle has healed. I am hoping that my fall did not do anything to my ankle, and I can start physical therapy as soon as possible.

Work Reunion Dinner

I went to a dinner last night at Honda-ya in Tustin. The group consisted of current coworkers and ex-coworkers. It is not really a reunion where people have not see each other in many years since four of us still work at the same company. Out of the six other people, three have worked for me in the past, and I have mentored two others outside of a direct-report relationship. After I retire, I will probably only keep in contact with this group, plus a hnadful more.

Honda-ya is a pretty good izakaya in Old Town Tustin. They do not take reservations so we got there before 5:00 pm to put our name down. We did get seated after a few minutes and stayed for about two hours. I said I would pay the bill and it came out to about $300 for seven people. The past time I did this, we only have four of us and the bill was almost $400. It was a lot of fun just to catch-up since I have been out of the office for almost three months.

I also tried a piece of sashimi. I had a bad experience many years ago when I threw up a piece of fresh tuna. It is not in the photo, but I had a piece of yellowtail belly. All I tased was the soy sauce. I also did not like the texture since it was kind of fatty. I could feel my gag reflex coming so I quickly swallow it and washed it down with lots of water. Oh well.

Ankle Update 20240317

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that I do not have a cast anymore. My orthopedic surgeon agreed to switch me to a boot instead of giving me another cast. This means I can take it off to sleep or to take a shower. I took a shower yesterday, the first one in almost three months. Since we have a shower chair in the house, I used it to be extra safe.

The bad news is I am no allowed to put weight on my foot yet. The surgeon said the X-rays look good, but he wants to be 100% sure. There is too much metal in my ankle so he ordered a CT scan of my ankle to make sure it is fully healed. My next appointment is April 1st so I will still be using crutches until then.

I did take the boot off to try driving. Even though I cannot move my ankle, the remaining flexibility in my foot allowed me to drive easily. It is definitely easier than using my left foot to drive. Also, since the boot is much larger than a cast, there is a lot less room in the car footwell if I keep the boot on while driving.

As for physical therapy, I will find out more after I am approved to put weight on my right foot. My lower right leg is definitely a lot thinner than my left leg. I also scrubbed my leg and put on a lot of lotion to try and get rid of the dry skin.

Factor 75 Meal #12

This was the last one in my two-week trial, and easily the worst tasting one. It was some kind of chicken salad and did not include many carbs. I ended up eating it with two whole wheat tortillas. I did not like the taste nor the texture of the food. Barely two stars out of five.

Anyway, I am done with Factor 75. Unless the long-term pricing is under $10 per meal with shipping, I will likely never order from them again.

Tesla Full Self-Drive Update

I wrote about Tesla’s full self-drive feature a few days ago. Since then, I was able to take a longer drive from my house to Cerritos. I was delivering some homemade cookies to a friend. I used the self-driving feature for almost the entire drive. During the drive, I had to interrupt the system several times, and there were some major failures near the end.

It worked well during the initial local portion from my house to the 57 freeway. I am unsure how the computer knows what the speed limit is at a specific location. I drove by a school zone at 9:30 pm and my car slowed to 25 miles per hour. The speed limit indicator on my dashboard stayed on 25 for several blocks. Of course, I had to disengage and drive manually. The system did take the on-ramp pretty well but was much slower than all other traffic.

I took 57 South to 22 West to 5 North to 91 West and exited on Carmenita. There was a major failure at the off-ramp. I was supposed to make a right turn on Carmenita. Traffic on the left was coming over a bridge so I am sure my car could not see what was coming. However, my Tesla decided to suddenly accelerate as it approached the traffic signal and I had to slam on the brakes, with my right foot. Likewise, the car was going way too fast as it tried to make a right turn into a side street off Carmenita. The side street had a center divider, and I thought my Tesla was going to run over it. Again, I had to slam on the brakes and make a sharp turn. I am not a software developer, so I do not know the challenges and issues with writing code for a self-driving system. However, I do write database code using SQL and I test my code a lot. Does Tesla not rigorously test their code since it is literally a matter of life and death?

I have turned off the self-driving system and I just use the Autopilot feature. I still have a week left in my self-driving demo, but I am done. Obviously, I am not going to pay $12,000 to buy, or $200/month to rent the self-driving system anytime soon.